neo_victorian | Member Posts

It's snowing. In March. Sure, why not.

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In screaming fangirl news, AMC announced the June 7th premier date for The Vampire Lestat, posted the opening credits to YouTube, and released the second single. I DON'T WANT TO WAIT I WANT ALL OF IT NOW.

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Speaking of vampires -- you know, one of my default states of being -- I have decided that a way to bring myself more joy is to lean into my pink and black aesthetic, with more of a vampire governess vibe. Because I've needed distraction recently, I made a Pinterest board. I may spend part of this weekend reworking my pink wide brimmed hat that has bat lace appliques on the underside of the brim and making a pink lace jabot.

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Even more vampires: I spent last night reading a fantastic AU Hannibal/True Blood fic, only to get to the last chapter that was a note from the author saying they would no longer be updating the story as they have left the Hannibal fandom. DAMMIT.

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Health stuff: I've been having bouts of stomach bloating and pain (mostly after I eat something) for no real reason I can identify, so I tried an experiment: for the past few days, I didn't have anything with cheese, and lo, everything was fine. Today I added cheese to the exact same thing I had for yesterday's lunch, and guess what? If I have become digestively sensitive to cheese, I want to punch a divine being in the face multiple times. Cheese my beloved, don't hurt me!

Between yesterday and today, including medication-induced napping, I slept for over 13 hours. I guess that's what happens when I finally let myself rest on day six of a migraine. Yes, feel free to glare at me about being terrible at taking care of myself. I KNOW.

The ridiculous thing is I'm still tired. Like, if I logged off right now, zapped a buckwheat pillow to put on my face, and flopped on the couch, I'd be out for at least an hour.

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I'm no longer in the "ugh I hate everything everything is stupid especially me" state that I'd been in over the past few weeks. Well, I still feel like randomly crying, but I don't hate myself, so progress yay?

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Last night, the latest of Seanan McGuire's Incryptid series hit my Kindle, yaaaay! But I haven't started it yet because the book focuses on one of the characters --Sarah-- I don't care that much about. I prefer her as a supporting character, but also know I'm probably not going to get more books focused on Mary or Antimony for a while. (Also, anything about Sarah has a good chance of involving a giant spider, gaaaaaaah.)

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Thanks to my Tumblr dash over the past few weeks, I am kicking myself for selling off this mandragora pendant from Moon & Serpent. I technically could afford replacing it, but I'm saving my money for my big tattoo, as in commissioning the art and then getting it inked.

To be clear, I support people doing whatever they want with their plushies. 100%. But I feel it’s weird to put a muzzle on them, or have a tag with your name, phone number, and address attached to their harness. I get that’s it’s to help get them back if you lose them, but the data privacy part of my brain is backing away chanting NO NO NO.

An interesting discussion that’s happened in the group is about microchipping your support plushie. On the one hand, putting an Apple air tag in Clovis would soothe some of my ever-present mild anxiety when he travels with me. On the other hand, that would involve opening a seam and carefully sewing it closed and in NO WAY do I feel comfortable doing that.

Heart of Faerie literally fell off the wall on me, so I guess I'll do a pull.

This has been the messiest, most difficult shuffle of my life. Many more shuffles than usual until feeling ready. The actual deck didn't want to move nicely. In the end I did a few flip the deck over and shuffle face up until the cards that wanted to be picked were on top. The third card was third card down from the usual top. Weirdest shuffle of the year. Calling it now.

The Queen of Passage. The Speaker of Truth. Nameless card with a bunch of little mushroom guys.

I'm going to replace this deck with a random pack of cards one of these days. (This is a fond threat.)

Queen of Passage- surrender/transition/trust. inevitability of change. ask for help during times of transition. keep going.

Speaker of Truth- trust/acceptance/open heart. A "face" card and the second one talking about trust. hearing truth sometimes hurts. (truth plus lies equals lies.)

-> clarifying card - cut the deck and grabbed one -> Queen of Shadows - introspection / acknowledgement / balance. stop and look. whole self not just parts. what's being neglected? it's another truth card.

nameless little mushroom guys - a bunch of little mushroom guys hanging out. most of them look friendly. one has it's hands spread in possible invitation.

So what I'm getting from this is seek truth, look into the shadows and bring things in the light, and hang out with some weird little guys. ... Sure.

Thank you so much deck for insisting on being read, fighting the actual physical parts of reading, and then saying the same thing three different ways.

Tags:

the deck is not subtle

Signal boosting a research survey on how childhood experiences impact military based PTSD. Anonymous survey. Results talking about group statistics not specific people. PTSD can be officially diagnosed, suspected, or self-diagnosed. Please share the link around if you know anyone who would be a good fit.

https://uhcno.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_0pmAUTlHNFID0KW

Current Mood: inquisative

Tags:

signal boost

Today I am cranky and angry for no real reason. I mean, yeah, the ongoing dystopian hellscape that we're in, but that's an ongoing background hum. No, today is wanting to snap at everyone and everything. Which is an interesting change from feeling low or anxious, which is usually what the Brain Raccoons dish out, but I still don't like it.

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The Stroppy One had a lightbulb moment and suggested that I check the side effects of the mass of meds that I take to see if any of them can cause nightmares. Interestingly that included steroids, antibiotics, Flonase, and daily steroid inhalers. I've stopped using Flonase, and that does seem to have made the nightly nightmares ease up. Now I need to do the same research to see if any of my meds cause acid reflux, because even tho' I'm on pantoprazole twice a day, acid reflux has been waking me up most nights. My Wegovy dosage hasn't increased, so that's not the trigger. But I need to figure it out, because if the acid reflux is bad enough, it can (say it with me now) trigger bronchitis for me. So fun.

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Today's tarot card: the 4 of Bats (4 of Swords), which is all about needing rest and calm. ANVILS FALLING FROM THE SKY.

I Say, Old Bean...

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Still talking about that emotional support stuffed animal fb group

card pull

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